Cat Society by Ray Sadri

Author:Ray Sadri
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Book Guild Ltd
Published: 2023-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

Wanted! A helper to assist with day to day thinking and certain administrative tasks. Someone bright and enthusiastic to plan and deliver special projects. You will be expected to undertake activities of a top-secret nature. Discretion is a must, chutzpah very much desired. Above all, a hunger to win is essential. Apply with a short covering letter, accompanied with a remittance of a dozen cream eclairs. Interviews will take place in my den. You will be richly compensated.

MOVING OUT DAY

‘Gah, politician guy, yaaah!’ cried the elderly she-cat neighbour, jerking her head wildly.

‘Uh, yes. Sorry to bother you, miss,’ said Douglas.

She was scratching away. ‘Haaah, whaaa-dyaaa want?’

Douglas crushed two pills onto some chicken. ‘Here, take this. You need to keep up your food intake. And these meds are extra strong, they’ll get rid of your parasites within hours. Take another two tomorrow.’

‘Waaah, thaaaa-thaaaank you.’

‘It’s no problem at all.’

She seemed to be signalling something. ‘Gaaaah, gaaaaangs hah-hah-have —’

‘The gangs?’

‘Yaaaah! Hah-have —’ She flicked her tail towards his patch.

‘They’ve been back?’

‘Yaaah!’

She looked worried and gabbled away hysterically.

‘Shh, don’t worry,’ he whispered, ‘I’m leaving today. But look after yourself, OK? I will come back and check on you soon.’

He threw his shirts, his case files, and his few worldly possessions onto an abandoned trolley. He could hear Shuffles doing her thing. ‘You’ll be back in your palace really soon, little one.’

He heard a scratch on the bin. ‘Mr Schnitty? Sir?’

‘Come in, kittie.’

The ginger kitten dumped a satchel stuffed with envelopes.

‘Good work, kittie. Did you deliver all the parcels?’

‘Yessir.’

‘And did Maples get her package.’

‘Yessir. She told me to thank you for your kindness. She said she’s doing better today.’

‘Good.’

‘And look, sir!’ He dropped a mouse at Douglas’ paws.

‘Wow! Did you catch this?’

‘Yessir! Me and my mate have been practising what you teached us!’

‘Taught us. It’s taught, not teached.’

‘What you taught us. I caught a pigeon too.’

‘I’m proud of you. Make sure you share it with your family, though. And offer some to your neighbours from time to time. And do me a favour please, catch some for the she-cat next door. She doesn’t know how to hunt and she’s poorly.’

The young cat started bouncing around. ‘Yessir, I will.’

‘Good, don’t forget.’

‘I won’t, I promise.’

There we go, thought Douglas, a perfect example of communities looking out for each other. That’s what we needed to talk about on the doorstep. We could call it the Big Society. The public would get it.

‘I must go now, sir, mummy says I have homework to do.’

‘One moment, I have something for you. Hold out your paw.’ Douglas took off his watch.

‘Is this for me?’

‘Yes. Look after it.’

‘Oh wow! Thank you, sir!’ He gave Douglas a peck on his forehead and scrambled off.

Douglas took in a deep breath. He was feeling inexplicably low. He would miss this place in a funny way. He would miss the nice kittens he’d met and the stars at night. He’d even got used to the stink of rotten eggs. He looked over at his crazy neighbour. She was staring right back at him, wide-eyed.

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